So, this really isn’t funny, but I have to laugh.
The title of this post is “It’s okay to start over.” I started writing this like two weeks ago and I can’t find the original, so I literally have to start over….
AND THAT’S OKAY.
I had such a crazy and busy summer. I don’t know about any of you but coming out of quarantine I wanted to just spend every ounce of my time enjoying life and we really did and I am so blessed.
But yet – I feel such a sense of urgency to write a blog post. I feel such a responsibility to those who have reached out to me and said that they love to read my posts. I truly love and appreciate all of you so much!
I thank God for giving me a platform to talk about Him and to share my thoughts and make friends and I just love to write to you and watch God bring the words to life in the hearts of my readers.
With all of that being said I am recommitting myself to this blog. I wanted to share about starting over. I heard a song by NF called Start Over and the lyrics are so beautiful.
“Everybody’s got a blank page
A story they’re writing today
A wall that they’re climbing
You can carry the past on your shoulders
Or you can start over
Regrets, no matter what you’ve gone through
Jesus, He gave it all to save you
He carried the cross on His shoulders
So you can start over”
I think sometimes when we say we are starting over we are coming from a place of defeat. We often think that we are huge failures that couldn’t hang on and we fell off the wagon and here we are again.
Yea, so you fell off the wagon on something. So does everyone in the whole world. We try, we fail, we try again. We are human!
We can be so hard on ourselves, can’t we?
I’m constantly getting angry with myself for falling off my healthy eating and working out regime. But you know what? It’s a process. I’m trying and I care about my health and the way I look. So, yea, I fall off and then I try again and one day I’ll get there.
Those of you who know me know that I am super impatient, so this really pisses me off when I mess up. But I do mess up, all the time. Because I am a real-life human being and that’s what happens.
I know I’m not alone in this. We are all working towards being a better version of ourselves and sometimes the off the wagon part is longer than the on the wagon part but that’s okay too!
We should celebrate the fact that we are getting back up and we are trying again! We are doing it! We have chosen to be better instead of staying in the mud. We are dusting ourselves off and we are STARTING OVER.
But really, you aren’t starting completely over..
You know more now; you see what went wrong and you can have a game plan to change that thing. Every single time we fall, or we fail we learn something. We experience life and we grow. So I think a better term would be we are continuing lol.
With me and my lifestyle journey, I am just getting back on track. I’m not starting the race all over again. I am picking up where I left off. And yea, I gained back some weight, but I didn’t gain it all back. And I didn’t lose the knowledge about what to do. So, it’s unfair to say I am starting over.
Something I have been getting back on track with is my spiritual journey. I was lacking in my prayer routine and I decided to rededicate myself to prayer in the morning. I must say that God is absolutely mind-blowing. In the two weeks that I have really dedicated myself, I have had so much growth and so many wonderful things happen in my life.
All of these things are truly challenging for me. It’s so hard to balance everything in life but God says that we don’t have to bear that burden alone. He is with us always and will help us carry that weight. God knows my heart and He has my back all the time.
I’m going to be totally transparent here for a moment.
I was sitting in church today and I was just feeling so bloated and I hadn’t eaten very well for the past two days and I just poured my heart out to God.
I feel so frustrated that I am making poor choices. I’m so frustrated that I keep ending up back in this place. I’m so frustrated that I know that God can do anything and yet I don’t ever wake up skinny and fit.
But you know what?
God has me. He is with me and He is going to carry this with me. He is going to see me through to the end and then He will celebrate with me when I reach my goals.
I truly believe that it will mean way more to me then if I just woke up one day looking like a supermodel.
How could I ever help anyone else with this struggle if I never went through it myself? How could I ever truly understand a struggle? How could I feel accomplished?
Yet, I’m frustrated.
But right on the tail of that frustration is determination.
I am determined to succeed in life. I am determined to be great. I am determined to make a good life for me and my family. I am determined to be healthy. I am determined to feel good about who I am. I am determined to share the love of God to His people. I am determined to encourage and strengthen myself, my family, and those around me.
And if that means that I have to dig deep down inside of me and find that self-discipline then that is exactly what I am going to do.
The truth is everyone really does have a blank page. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been down – this is your comeback. Fix that crown and own it! The start was just the beginning of your story, the ending is always the best part.
I hope this little message was an encouragement to you in whatever struggle or goal you are striving to overcome. Just know that you are not alone, and you are so very loved.