As Moms, we are too hard on ourselves.

So, I cant believe that I am 29 years old already.

Now I know that some of you are like seriously?! ONLY 29?!

Yes, I am 29 and I feel some type of way about it! In the society that we live in people always tell you that you are supposed to have things figured out by the time you are 30. So 29 is very scary for me! And, yes, I am a Christian and no, I am not letting fear get in the way of my faith. I am just saying am I living to my true potential? Have I made myself proud so far in this life? Have I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish? Have I done my best?

Every single year I sit here and evaluate my entire life from birth until now. AND FOR WHAT?! So I can highlight my failures?! I often think that this is because I am the first born, oldest child. Am I too hard on myself?

Shouldn’t we be happy that God gives us breath? Yes. I should. But also, I want to achieve. I want to accomplish. I want the feeling of being successful.

I think that my biggest problem is that I need to put my successes and failures in the hands of God. Jesus died for me and that was enough for redemption. That was enough to pay the price for me to have eternal life. So, why am I concerned? I am righteous. I am redeemed. I am saved by amazing, beautiful, wonderful grace.

That last part was written last year on my birthday. And who knows maybe I was having a bit of a crisis. Now as I go into my 30th year of life, I am still trying to keep my feet on the ground. I have so much to be grateful for. I have accomplished so much this year that I am proud of. There is no way that I can go into this new year without giving myself some credit.

I lost 50lbs in 2019. I went from being dirt poor to having a job at the YMCA and meeting some amazing people who changed my life. I was able to watch my best friend get married. I saw my husband have a software update and completely change for the good. I got a job working for the state which is a wonderful job! I moved to the next level in my relationship with God. I watched my brother get married and my other brother get his first car! I watched my kids grow another year healthily. I watched my dad be healed. I watched my husband grow with God. I watched my other best friend endure trials with grace which has ignited my passion for Jesus. I watched my twins play their first year of football and met a beautiful football family. I took a trip to Greenbay and saw Lambeau Field. I watched my mom find her home at a church. I watched my brother get a dream job. I watched my son go to Kindergarten and he lost his first tooth this year! I watched a complete stranger give us a glorious Christmas. I watched my mother in law come through chemo healed. I went back behind the chair doing what I love. I can’t believe all the joy and happiness I have witnessed this year.

God is so good. This year was one of the hardest years of my life. It pressed me down and really made me consider what I am made of. God is making me his masterpiece just like the song says and I am unfinished. I am looking at this new year coming and I am ready for everything it has for me. Except wrinkles. I’m not ready for wrinkles.

Cheers to a new year! 🥳

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